Birthdays

My birthday was today which was just AMAZING. It's so strange to me sometimes because when I have my birthdays, it feels like such a fresh start to a whole good year ahead of me. I know that the year ahead of me is going to be the best one yet. Being the age I turned, I feel as though I have more freedom in some ways to know how to navigate if I ever got lost or had to accomplish something. Having your birthday fly by in a flash is actually really exciting. I always feel like I'm in a dream somehow. I am just walking on air and letting my body do the rest. When I walked around today on my birthday, everything looked sort of different. I do not know if it has anything to do with the fact that I am a year older now. Or maybe it had something to do with thinking that birthdays had something to do with starting over. In the past year I 've had ups and downs bringing me left to right. Now, I'm happy just where I am. I am happy with the friendships I have made with people in the last couple of months. These people honestly make me really happy when I have my worst days. So, just seeing these today made me more happier and have a much better birthday. You always remember your birthday so significantly because it was the day that you somewhat changed. For me, I do not want to change. I just like remaining me. Then again. I will see everything in a different light not just because I'm older, but because I've learned a lot. 

Daydreamer

Sometimes, my mind just wanders all the day at the most random times. I am an active thinker and have a humongous imagination springing up life here and there. When I am in class, if you heard the words " So imagine that the ... would be like this....." . This would lead me to zoning out for a good five minutes thinking about what life would be like there for me. I would make me a character in my own mind television show that would keep running and never stop. It keeps going though which leads to my teachers snapping me back to reality. It would involve them calling my name and just me acting like a complete fool of myself not knowing what is going on at all. I am a day dreamer. I admit that. I always day dream anywhere at any time. My day dreams are sometimes better than reality the way that I would see it. It isn't usually like this with me needing to get snapped back. Eventually, I would do it on my own to get myself back into the swing of things. When a class is really boring, I don't mean to zone out. I just do at those times. It is something that I hear mentioned from one person that sets t off. It starts off with someone mentioning something funny that they heard of or could never possibly imagine happening. With this sad, I would get a distant memory of something that reminded me of the thing mentioned. After that, it is all but non stop dreaming after that. I want to learn to control it, but it comes and it goes. Usually, it is a normal occurring routine that I always go into. With so many thought on my mind, I lose sight of what is really in front of me. 

From Rehearsal Back To Camp

During my rehearsal today for the a show I'm doing, I was supposed to be dancing around the stage. I grabbed a partner and was chosen to be the man. Having the role to be the guy, I have had a good experience with learning how to play this role. No doubt in my mind made me not want to relate my character to King Darling The Third in the Prince Street version of Cinderella. Supposedly, I was a blind king with a son that I would always mistake as a different person over the course of the show. I thought, back in summer , I wish I could go back in time to go be in that part again. Oh, how I miss that cast so much, yet where would I be today? I successfully did some great shows over the past couple of months now come to think of it. Anyways, so back to the rehearsal. I had my partner and we were dancing the waltz when my mind reminded me of summer all over again. My mind kept going back to summer over and over and over again. I missed it so much and I longed to be back there so badly. With every step I would take when doing the waltz, it reminded me of how I did it those couple of months ago. It gave me some background information on how to actually waltz in this case. Sometimes, it makes me really sad to know that from the looks of it, I may never be able to go back to me dear camp. There are people there that I will miss dearly. There are the directors and the new opportunities to take advantage of. However, I have had my eye on other camps that are not that far away as my beloved camp. I still can't stop thinking about my camp and the friends I made their. I have no idea sometimes where they could be right now.

My 365 Photography Project

The idea behind my 365 photo project is seeing the wold in a different perspective. Sure, the photos that I take are very odd at times. Yet, these photos that I capture make the difference to help me see it different from someone else. I feel that my photos bring a sort of different quality with each photo. Each individual photo has a certain message behind it which is the reason why I took the photo in the first place after all. With my photos, I want people to see the difference in perspective in how they look. More importantly, I want people to make up a story in their heads about why the picture was taken and posted in the first place. I do caption the pictures at times to give a hint of what it comes out to be. Other than that, I want people to see how I all come down to it when it comes to making my 365 what it is today. Many do notice my pictures as a work of art. Others see it and never know what to say. On my own choice, I want to leave my viewers in that sort of speechless state. By having them in that sort of state, it lets their own minds wander to conclude what the picture may come out to. In the end, it is what they make of it. Sooner or later, I want to see the conclusions that people come up with just by looking at the photo graph. I want to ask them, " So , when you looked at the photograph, what did you originally think at first? " More importantly, " What was the hidden message that you got from seeing the world in this upside down perspective on this photograph? "

I Saw Them Today

I saw my friends some good old friends I hadn't seen in a while. For all these months, they had done what they needed to get done and I did what I needed to get done too. It was the time apart that we may have learned from our mistakes and made better decisions. It was in those past months that we may have fallen to pieces, but we somehow put our selves back together. Knowing how it would be farther down the road to come, we kept hoping for that day to reunite. I longed for that day to come as do my other friends that I haven't seen in a very long time. With all of the missed birthdays and moments together that were never shared, we tried to make up for that when we would see each other. All of the inside jokes and how we made each other laugh would all come back once we met up again. Even though I never saw them everyday like I used to, I did have them always in my memory. My memories filled me up with my friends on how they were so close to me, yet so far. It would have been easy to visit, but then again where would you find the time? The time flies by off the clock each day and no one has any idea where it disappears to. It comes and it goes. I always thought that when I would meet up with my friends once again, I would catch up on all the lost time that went away. I lost touch with them over the past couple of months, but I didn't want that to happen to me again. We needed to share the fun times that we experienced on our own road and such that we would then share it. We would share all of the stories over the past couple of months that actually went down. Because, when you see a picture of someone on Instagram, it can only do so much. You don't even know what they are thinking or what is even going on at that given point. It was time to finally reunite. So, we did.

It was way different then I imagined it. It felt spacey being the fact that it was a year since it was that same night. It surprised me how it all went by so fast. Seeing all those familiar faces, it reminds me of how in the next few months to come, they will be coming up to the soon enough. I'll be able to see them everyday eventually. So, in those moments that I finally saw my friends, the looks in our eyes explained it all. With attacks from behind and people running up to you by how much they missed you, it is the best feeling in the world. It is the best feeling in the world to know that during all that missed time, they still knew you. Nowadays, I'm gonna be more happier that I have people somewhere else at the moment missing me as much as I miss them. 

The Night Scene

I decided to share with you a previous writing that I did for my English class, but I that sort of feeling that this one scene that I wrote would describe a certain part of my day. Today, I realized something about the world, and myself. There is this short story called "Night" that I previously read. So, I added a scene to it. Here it is.

    There was a doorbell ring in the night. It was softer then anyone could hear in the house.
    The doorbell chimed again, only a slad bit higher in noise. This time it finally awoke him.
    He started to get up, but this was never part of the nightly routine for him. It seemed like a dream, only it wasn’t. As he started to head for the door, there was a brisk knocking as he opened it.
    The mother’s soft snores could be heard so silently as they faded when the front door swung open. It was dark in the night sky, but the lamp lights started to flicker. There was a police car outside the door. The police man standed outside the door holding a child.
        “ We found him, I am so sorry for how long this took...” the police man spoke silently as he started to hand over th child.
     “ Give me my son. “ the father stammered as he was gently placed the boy into his arms. The soft, deep breathing of the body started to echo in his mind. The man closed the door with his foot and locked it. He was very careful not to hurt the child as he started to walk down the hallway.
     He protected the boys feet from hititng the walls as they boy slept. Bu cradling his head, he made a soft turn into the room across from his. He turned on the light and started to walk over to the pre made bes that was already set for the boy, just like before. As he placed the boy down, he started to make sure that the boy was still sleeping. The man took the boy’s inhaler and placed it on his desk.
    As he started to walk back over to the bed, the boy turned around in an instant. His breathing was still heavily heard , but he was able to make out a simple phrase.
       “ You listened, Dad.”
    He felt as though the room started to feel full again. Full of life that he needed to protect and listen to again to the world around him. He was lost, then found. As the man walked over to the boy, he whispered out a phrase sp soft that only the boy’s ears would take in.
      “ I finally did.”
    The man then started for the door, but before he did so, he tucked his son in for the rest of the night. He softly kissed his head as he brushed aside his hair. He could still here the child’s soft deep breathing as he started to turn around and leave.
      As he walked through the door frame, he looked back one last time at the boy, the one he finally listened for as he went back to sleep. He started to walk into the other room, hands by his sides and laid down onto the comforter. He placed his head on the pillow and made sure that in the distance he could still hear the boy from the room across the hall.
      The slow and deep breathing echoed through the walla to his room. The boy was safe and sound at last.
      “ I listened my son, I listened. “
      The man finally let go of life around him and closed his eyes, ready to awake in the morning.
       This seemed to be like a dream, only it wasn’t, for this didn’t happen every night.

No Bad Habits Allowed

Ever since I was little, I always had a drive for making people laugh. It was just a thing that made me smile all the time knowing that I was the reason behind someone's smile. By being overjoyed into this, I started to perform year after year in anyway I could. It became such a normal thing for me when I was younger. It was from being in dance for a numerous amount of years of the Tillies stage to being chosen as the lead singer for a preschool band. For preschool, there was a stage at this classmate's party. It had a room with that stage all set up with everything you would need for a band. Since I had no idea what I was doing, I just waited where I would be in that band. The classmate chose to put me as lead singer. I remember it faintly, but I think my voice at that time was starting out. It got me more into the swing of having people watch me more and more. With this coming around as more of a thrive to be on stage, I had my chance to be in it during 5th grade. That is where my acting career as I think took off. I got a lead role in that musical. Even though I was pushed out by being the villain, I stayed by myself while we rehearsed. It was such an experience too. The only thing that made me happy was to see people's faces light up when I had a funny line to say. I used improv in certain scenes when I was Mrs. Gulch. It was an amazing show in general, but that show did teach me a lot about myself. From then on, every musical I was ever in, I got a lead part in it. I leaned toward getting the comedic roles instead of the dramatic ones. I wanted to make people laugh and remember me in a certain scene even if I was up for a short period of time. 

However, today during rehearsal, I did a habit I had picked up in middle school. It was something has always happened in the middle school during the rehearsals all the time. I made myself always look at the director of the show to see if I was doing it right. Basically, I was trying to get a sense of approval from the director on whether or not what I'm doing is the right thing. When my middle school director would notice, she would tell me to stop. Eventually, I stopped. Ever since then, I have picked back up the habit without even realizing it. This year I wasn't one of the main leads in the dramas or musicals with big lines to say. With the drama, I have a certain part that I have a good amount of lines for.  I just tend to freeze up and not know if I am doing it right. It just bothers me having that happen to me all the time.. It makes me so uncomfortable when I happens that I want to work on trying to stop it. It is a habit that needs to be stopped. I want it to stop after all.  

There Are Some

I wanted to blog post today, but I thought why not write a poem based on how I view the world today. So instead of a regular blog post, here is my poem.

There are some in this world who believe in love
Others just put in more hate
There are some in this world who give life a shove
Others just are used to discriminate
There are some people in this world who get lost in a dream
Others just put in more than they mean
There are some people in this world who are on the same team
Others just are acting someone they aren't, that is keen
There are some people in this world who give life a chance
Others just put there emotions on the line, not willing to try
There are some people in this world who take a stance
Others just are willing to die
There are some people in this world who do there special dance
Others just put in no emotions
There are some people in this world who go with hope in prance
Others just are causing commotions
There are some people in this world who would rather smile
Others just put their souls in fashion
There are some people in this world who would rather take a while
Others just are not knowing that they are trashin
There are some people in this world who have acceptance
Others just put in the fake ness to rot
There are some people in this world who would do penance
Others just are taking the path to trot

What are Seven Billion People Doing Right Now?

Today, I was thinking about what goes on in the rest of the world. It makes me think of how other people go about their daily lives. How everyone is so diverse in not only the way they look, but of how the constant actions they do every day. Everybody has some type of way to wake themselves up in the morning whether it be an alarm clock or a mother waking them up to go to school. Maybe the person didn't sleep at all that night and woke up all cranky. Sometimes, my cat wakes me up with her constant meowing every morning. If we were on a farm, we wouldn't even need a rooster for how much she meows. That is another way people wake up on a normal basis. My sister get sprayed in the face every morning, so that helps her get ready for school. It just makes me think that once you step out of your bed, your day officially starts. When I start my day, my mind takes me to see different people around the world getting up at the same time as me. We would look different, yet doing the same actions. Maybe it would be someone that has the same name as me and would complete the same schedule as I do. With all of this thinking going on in the morning, I never get ready in time for school. I always drift off with  doing something else. In other words, during my own scheduled routine, I would just start to dream of how other people live. Having this kind of set up in the morning easily gets me hyped up to carry on with my day. 

It is not just how people wake up with all the different time zones and how they go about their daily routines in life. I make myself imagine what it would be like after that point. Varying from ages 1 to maybe 125 ( age for the world's oldest person alive) , what goes on during a normal basis for them? I want to see it from people's different points of view. To see what it would be like to live in someone else's shoes for a change. We all wake up and everything, but after that then what happens next? Just to mention that with the power of YouTube, you can see other people 's "supposed" daily routines. They have their own channel and everything with a million views daily on what they would do for their morning or night routines. I mean, why would you record yourself doing your own routine in the morning. For me, if it was in the morning or at night, that would be the one time that I can have some personal time with myself. It's time to think about how my day is going to go or reflect on how it went. Even though I do love the videos that these people make, I don't want someone to set up my own routine for me in the morning. It makes their routine seem to be the "ideal" one. Why can't we just keep it as our own? I do care for the fact that every person apart of the 7 billion that make up the world today should do their own thing. Which brings it back to the fact that I wonder what these people are doing right now at this very moment. 

The Library or DTC?

My friends and I would usually go to the library to study for tests or just do textbook work to get it over with. Today was unlike usual days. As some of you may not know, there is a club called DTC. It is the Dance Theater Company. I was going to try out for a spot in one of the dances, but I had to much on my hands to do with homework, clubs and the musical. The way DTC works is you would need to create a group. I didn't have one because from me running around from spot to spot I never had the time to. However, in this group you would arrange, you would need to over the course of a year create a dance routine. It doesn't seem like much until certain people find out what little time they have to choreograph their very own dance. Also, the fact that money comes to being involved. You would need to fund for the lighting at the end of the year show all of these dance numbers would be in. It seemed to me to be a lot of fun, but I didn't have the time or money to make it work. So, you would either have to bring in 20 dollars every audition that you went to for you dance. On the other hand, you could go into this complicated candy business that you would need to sell candy. To this day, it still confuses me on how the whole candy bag thing even works. Other than that, once they'd have enough money the show would go on. That is the way the whole thing would work. 

Now onto my friends, today after school they were choreographing their dance. They originally had three members. Due to grades, one of them had to drop because they were struggling. Somehow, my friends find time to do their work with the amount of time they are choreographing their two person dance. I have no idea how they make it work, but they just do. Earlier a couple of months ago, I wanted to join the group because I had nothing going on after school on certain days other than a few clubs. I wanted to be in their dance group so badly, but they just told me their were to many people. So, I tried to choreograph my own dance and I did. I'm still working on it today though. Anyways, so their original song got taken away from them making them ending up to change it. Either way, when I see these two dance, it seemed to me as thought they were telling a story. It looked as a form of art was creating itself with these two people, my friends. Other than that, with these two people dancing and them coming up with new moves, I learned more about them. It was not through language or faces that sent the message, but their movement as a whole. The way they moved spoke to me. It gave me that shiver down your spine when you see a magnificent painting that your absolutely in love with. Or the look of shock factor when you see someone's creation for the first time. My friends have told me that they aren't artists. In this way, I see them that they lied. They truly are. 

My Birth Giver

My mom is someone that I look upon as a true artist herself. She has been through the hard times growing up with three brothers. She has had her dolls thrown off the roof to be taunted by both younger and older brothers. Not only did she have to deal with all of this, but she learned from herself. She took action in her own life. This person taught her own self how to roller skate. Even when she would fall, she came right back up again. From the toy factory down the street, she got her own toys and her own dolls to play with. She rummaged through garbage just to find something to entertain herself. She found joy in other people's lost objects and rejects for non perfect things.With all this said, she went her own route. Some say that she was different from the rest. To me, she totally was.
She wasn't just a person that grew up down in the neighborhood. My mother was an artist. She was inspired from the day she first laid eyes on art. When she was younger, she tried out for a school art competition. With that, it was her natural work of art that won first prize. It was a ribbon and $25 dollars for her to spend any way she wanted to. That $25 made her get saved for many years to come. Soon she bought her own cassette player that she called her own. The one thing that was all hers. That cassette player lead her to create her own style in high school. Seeing the true values in her student body, she became friends with limited people her own age. The lower grades became the people she turned to with them worshiping the ground she walked on. It was something that she loved to help people out with advice and to have real conversations. It was times like these that inspired her to continue with her art career.
My birth giver wanted to go onto Italy to go to art school. It was her dream to go, but she was held back by her parents who wanted her to take a different route. She was talented and very blessed with an artistic hand, but it never went her way. Eventually, she found through jobs to fund her college courses to become a teacher. It was a good career for her to see how she went down that route and blossomed. Months turned to years and she had me. Even though she's a teacher, she still has a muse to pursue an art career through my eyes. Do I think that she is still an artist? Yes I do. Through the actions she completes every day makes her a different piece of artwork from society. I find it inspiring that I can learn from her artistic experiences to help me with my adventure.