Birthdays

My birthday was today which was just AMAZING. It's so strange to me sometimes because when I have my birthdays, it feels like such a fresh start to a whole good year ahead of me. I know that the year ahead of me is going to be the best one yet. Being the age I turned, I feel as though I have more freedom in some ways to know how to navigate if I ever got lost or had to accomplish something. Having your birthday fly by in a flash is actually really exciting. I always feel like I'm in a dream somehow. I am just walking on air and letting my body do the rest. When I walked around today on my birthday, everything looked sort of different. I do not know if it has anything to do with the fact that I am a year older now. Or maybe it had something to do with thinking that birthdays had something to do with starting over. In the past year I 've had ups and downs bringing me left to right. Now, I'm happy just where I am. I am happy with the friendships I have made with people in the last couple of months. These people honestly make me really happy when I have my worst days. So, just seeing these today made me more happier and have a much better birthday. You always remember your birthday so significantly because it was the day that you somewhat changed. For me, I do not want to change. I just like remaining me. Then again. I will see everything in a different light not just because I'm older, but because I've learned a lot. 

Daydreamer

Sometimes, my mind just wanders all the day at the most random times. I am an active thinker and have a humongous imagination springing up life here and there. When I am in class, if you heard the words " So imagine that the ... would be like this....." . This would lead me to zoning out for a good five minutes thinking about what life would be like there for me. I would make me a character in my own mind television show that would keep running and never stop. It keeps going though which leads to my teachers snapping me back to reality. It would involve them calling my name and just me acting like a complete fool of myself not knowing what is going on at all. I am a day dreamer. I admit that. I always day dream anywhere at any time. My day dreams are sometimes better than reality the way that I would see it. It isn't usually like this with me needing to get snapped back. Eventually, I would do it on my own to get myself back into the swing of things. When a class is really boring, I don't mean to zone out. I just do at those times. It is something that I hear mentioned from one person that sets t off. It starts off with someone mentioning something funny that they heard of or could never possibly imagine happening. With this sad, I would get a distant memory of something that reminded me of the thing mentioned. After that, it is all but non stop dreaming after that. I want to learn to control it, but it comes and it goes. Usually, it is a normal occurring routine that I always go into. With so many thought on my mind, I lose sight of what is really in front of me. 

From Rehearsal Back To Camp

During my rehearsal today for the a show I'm doing, I was supposed to be dancing around the stage. I grabbed a partner and was chosen to be the man. Having the role to be the guy, I have had a good experience with learning how to play this role. No doubt in my mind made me not want to relate my character to King Darling The Third in the Prince Street version of Cinderella. Supposedly, I was a blind king with a son that I would always mistake as a different person over the course of the show. I thought, back in summer , I wish I could go back in time to go be in that part again. Oh, how I miss that cast so much, yet where would I be today? I successfully did some great shows over the past couple of months now come to think of it. Anyways, so back to the rehearsal. I had my partner and we were dancing the waltz when my mind reminded me of summer all over again. My mind kept going back to summer over and over and over again. I missed it so much and I longed to be back there so badly. With every step I would take when doing the waltz, it reminded me of how I did it those couple of months ago. It gave me some background information on how to actually waltz in this case. Sometimes, it makes me really sad to know that from the looks of it, I may never be able to go back to me dear camp. There are people there that I will miss dearly. There are the directors and the new opportunities to take advantage of. However, I have had my eye on other camps that are not that far away as my beloved camp. I still can't stop thinking about my camp and the friends I made their. I have no idea sometimes where they could be right now.

My 365 Photography Project

The idea behind my 365 photo project is seeing the wold in a different perspective. Sure, the photos that I take are very odd at times. Yet, these photos that I capture make the difference to help me see it different from someone else. I feel that my photos bring a sort of different quality with each photo. Each individual photo has a certain message behind it which is the reason why I took the photo in the first place after all. With my photos, I want people to see the difference in perspective in how they look. More importantly, I want people to make up a story in their heads about why the picture was taken and posted in the first place. I do caption the pictures at times to give a hint of what it comes out to be. Other than that, I want people to see how I all come down to it when it comes to making my 365 what it is today. Many do notice my pictures as a work of art. Others see it and never know what to say. On my own choice, I want to leave my viewers in that sort of speechless state. By having them in that sort of state, it lets their own minds wander to conclude what the picture may come out to. In the end, it is what they make of it. Sooner or later, I want to see the conclusions that people come up with just by looking at the photo graph. I want to ask them, " So , when you looked at the photograph, what did you originally think at first? " More importantly, " What was the hidden message that you got from seeing the world in this upside down perspective on this photograph? "

I Saw Them Today

I saw my friends some good old friends I hadn't seen in a while. For all these months, they had done what they needed to get done and I did what I needed to get done too. It was the time apart that we may have learned from our mistakes and made better decisions. It was in those past months that we may have fallen to pieces, but we somehow put our selves back together. Knowing how it would be farther down the road to come, we kept hoping for that day to reunite. I longed for that day to come as do my other friends that I haven't seen in a very long time. With all of the missed birthdays and moments together that were never shared, we tried to make up for that when we would see each other. All of the inside jokes and how we made each other laugh would all come back once we met up again. Even though I never saw them everyday like I used to, I did have them always in my memory. My memories filled me up with my friends on how they were so close to me, yet so far. It would have been easy to visit, but then again where would you find the time? The time flies by off the clock each day and no one has any idea where it disappears to. It comes and it goes. I always thought that when I would meet up with my friends once again, I would catch up on all the lost time that went away. I lost touch with them over the past couple of months, but I didn't want that to happen to me again. We needed to share the fun times that we experienced on our own road and such that we would then share it. We would share all of the stories over the past couple of months that actually went down. Because, when you see a picture of someone on Instagram, it can only do so much. You don't even know what they are thinking or what is even going on at that given point. It was time to finally reunite. So, we did.

It was way different then I imagined it. It felt spacey being the fact that it was a year since it was that same night. It surprised me how it all went by so fast. Seeing all those familiar faces, it reminds me of how in the next few months to come, they will be coming up to the soon enough. I'll be able to see them everyday eventually. So, in those moments that I finally saw my friends, the looks in our eyes explained it all. With attacks from behind and people running up to you by how much they missed you, it is the best feeling in the world. It is the best feeling in the world to know that during all that missed time, they still knew you. Nowadays, I'm gonna be more happier that I have people somewhere else at the moment missing me as much as I miss them. 

The Night Scene

I decided to share with you a previous writing that I did for my English class, but I that sort of feeling that this one scene that I wrote would describe a certain part of my day. Today, I realized something about the world, and myself. There is this short story called "Night" that I previously read. So, I added a scene to it. Here it is.

    There was a doorbell ring in the night. It was softer then anyone could hear in the house.
    The doorbell chimed again, only a slad bit higher in noise. This time it finally awoke him.
    He started to get up, but this was never part of the nightly routine for him. It seemed like a dream, only it wasn’t. As he started to head for the door, there was a brisk knocking as he opened it.
    The mother’s soft snores could be heard so silently as they faded when the front door swung open. It was dark in the night sky, but the lamp lights started to flicker. There was a police car outside the door. The police man standed outside the door holding a child.
        “ We found him, I am so sorry for how long this took...” the police man spoke silently as he started to hand over th child.
     “ Give me my son. “ the father stammered as he was gently placed the boy into his arms. The soft, deep breathing of the body started to echo in his mind. The man closed the door with his foot and locked it. He was very careful not to hurt the child as he started to walk down the hallway.
     He protected the boys feet from hititng the walls as they boy slept. Bu cradling his head, he made a soft turn into the room across from his. He turned on the light and started to walk over to the pre made bes that was already set for the boy, just like before. As he placed the boy down, he started to make sure that the boy was still sleeping. The man took the boy’s inhaler and placed it on his desk.
    As he started to walk back over to the bed, the boy turned around in an instant. His breathing was still heavily heard , but he was able to make out a simple phrase.
       “ You listened, Dad.”
    He felt as though the room started to feel full again. Full of life that he needed to protect and listen to again to the world around him. He was lost, then found. As the man walked over to the boy, he whispered out a phrase sp soft that only the boy’s ears would take in.
      “ I finally did.”
    The man then started for the door, but before he did so, he tucked his son in for the rest of the night. He softly kissed his head as he brushed aside his hair. He could still here the child’s soft deep breathing as he started to turn around and leave.
      As he walked through the door frame, he looked back one last time at the boy, the one he finally listened for as he went back to sleep. He started to walk into the other room, hands by his sides and laid down onto the comforter. He placed his head on the pillow and made sure that in the distance he could still hear the boy from the room across the hall.
      The slow and deep breathing echoed through the walla to his room. The boy was safe and sound at last.
      “ I listened my son, I listened. “
      The man finally let go of life around him and closed his eyes, ready to awake in the morning.
       This seemed to be like a dream, only it wasn’t, for this didn’t happen every night.

No Bad Habits Allowed

Ever since I was little, I always had a drive for making people laugh. It was just a thing that made me smile all the time knowing that I was the reason behind someone's smile. By being overjoyed into this, I started to perform year after year in anyway I could. It became such a normal thing for me when I was younger. It was from being in dance for a numerous amount of years of the Tillies stage to being chosen as the lead singer for a preschool band. For preschool, there was a stage at this classmate's party. It had a room with that stage all set up with everything you would need for a band. Since I had no idea what I was doing, I just waited where I would be in that band. The classmate chose to put me as lead singer. I remember it faintly, but I think my voice at that time was starting out. It got me more into the swing of having people watch me more and more. With this coming around as more of a thrive to be on stage, I had my chance to be in it during 5th grade. That is where my acting career as I think took off. I got a lead role in that musical. Even though I was pushed out by being the villain, I stayed by myself while we rehearsed. It was such an experience too. The only thing that made me happy was to see people's faces light up when I had a funny line to say. I used improv in certain scenes when I was Mrs. Gulch. It was an amazing show in general, but that show did teach me a lot about myself. From then on, every musical I was ever in, I got a lead part in it. I leaned toward getting the comedic roles instead of the dramatic ones. I wanted to make people laugh and remember me in a certain scene even if I was up for a short period of time. 

However, today during rehearsal, I did a habit I had picked up in middle school. It was something has always happened in the middle school during the rehearsals all the time. I made myself always look at the director of the show to see if I was doing it right. Basically, I was trying to get a sense of approval from the director on whether or not what I'm doing is the right thing. When my middle school director would notice, she would tell me to stop. Eventually, I stopped. Ever since then, I have picked back up the habit without even realizing it. This year I wasn't one of the main leads in the dramas or musicals with big lines to say. With the drama, I have a certain part that I have a good amount of lines for.  I just tend to freeze up and not know if I am doing it right. It just bothers me having that happen to me all the time.. It makes me so uncomfortable when I happens that I want to work on trying to stop it. It is a habit that needs to be stopped. I want it to stop after all.